Media Kit (Svenska)


Jakob Vendle blev diagnostiserad med multipel skleros 2004, hans sjukdom förvärrades 2010 och övergick då till sekundärprogressiv multipel skleros. Han levde med ventilator i tre år, åt via slang i ett år och låg i en månadslång koma. Jakob är född i London, växte upp i Stockholm och flyttade till San Fransisco i tjugoårsåldern. Han bodde i USA i tjugo år, där han arbetade som copywriter och mötte sin fru. Dom bor nu i Stockholm med deras dotter. Jakobs sjukdom har förlamat honom, han sitter i en elrullstol och kan endast röra sin tumme, samt tala. Trots detta har han en positiv attityd.


Språk: Engelska
Längd: 57 000 ord
Typ: Självbiografi
ISBN No: 9798715560117
Tillgänglig: Amazon, print och Kindle, samt som ljudbok på Audible.


Boken tar läsaren på en djupdykning in i en kritiskt sjuk mans psyke. Hans drömmar, mardrömmar samt existentiella funderingar på livet när han vårdas på intensiven igen och igen. Men den bjuder också på en resa till Hawaii, Mt. Fuji, Galapagos öarna, och en flytt från San Fransisco till Stockholm. Vidare så jagas jultomten i Hawaii och vi svingas nakna genom London Hiltons lobby.


  • Personer som kämpar med sjukdom
  • Deras anhöriga
  • Personer inom vården
  • De som vill läsa en bra bok



5.0 out of 5 stars A raw, emotional and captivating journey

Reviewed in Germany on October 22, 2020 The way Jakob composes his symphony of words is genius and makes you long for the next sentence, while you have not even finished the previous one. He accomplished to describe his internal battle with MS with love for detail – for the good, the bad and the small random things in life. This book has the power to teleport you through time and space by his side, guiding you through the tsunami of thoughts that come flooding over a mind dealing with a chronic disease. One moment you find yourself hiking in nature or working in Silicon Valley with him, until your next breath catapults you to a white, sterile room and seemingly hopeless situation at the ICU. This real life story also has a reoccurring theme of finding the beauty in life after each set back. Happiness seems to be an emotion which he has to painfully rediscover over and over again but is worth the struggle. His humor and unconditional love for his daughter, wife and closest people around him is astonishing and seems to be the holy grail to life. Furthermore, he touches on an important topic – how people with illnesses and special needs experience society and how society is turning a shoulder on them. They are as human as anyone else and deserve to be treated as such!!! This is a read that will touch your heart, it surely touched mine.

LLV 5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful book, beautifully written, fascinating read Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2020 I started this book, tried to put it down to go to sleep, but ended up getting back up to keep reading. It is sad, funny, informative, and most of all, a beautiful example of a deeply human experience. Although all of our circumstances are different, the author writes in a way that invites the reader to join what is, after all, the shared human experience of life unexpected. Exceptionally written and deeply interesting throughout, this book has kept me thinking about it as I go through my day, and I am grateful to the writer for encouraging those thoughts. I highly recommend this book.


Varför är boken skriven på engelska?
Jag är rörelseförhindrad och helt beroende på att mina assistenter hjälper mig att skriva. De flesta, i mitt fall sex av åtta, är engelsktalande. Sen är det ju också det att jag har bott i USA i tjugo år, och där jobbat med copy. Alla i min familj är alla engelsk talande, dom kan i och för sig svenska, men familjespråket är engelska. Engelska är mitt andra modersmål, om man kan säga så.

Varför skrev du boken?
Jag var tvungen att skriva boken, det kändes som att jag inte hade något val. Det började bara som lösa anteckningar. Anteckningar som skulle hjälpa mg att komma ihåg vem jag var. Det låter lite konstigt kanske men, verkligheten är liksom insvept i en dimma, när man är riktigt sjuk.

Hur kommer det sig att du fortfarande är så positiv?
Under en treårs period blev min sjukdom allt allvarligare. Jag spenderade mer och mer tid på intensiven, och det kändes verkligen som om livet ebbade ut och i den här misären, hittade jag små positiva saker. Som att min syreupptagningsförmåga hade gått upp till 84 från 83. Jag fokuserade på det och inte på allt runt omkring mig. Jag är en livslång Buddhist i träning, jag försöker leva i nuet, men är troligen världens sämsta på att meditera. Efter alla dessa år, så slinker tankar fortfarande in.

Hur skriver du?
Jag skriver med hjälp av mina assistenter. Allt jag skriver måste jag diktera. Det är ofta svårt och lite begränsande, men utan dem så blir det ingenting, så jag är otroligt tacksam. En av mina assistenter skriver denna mening just nu. Jag skriver mest på offentliga platser som bibliotek, öppna kontor, och i olika hotellobbys. Jag skriver helt enkelt där jag får.

När fick du din diagnos och hur känns det?
Jag fick en attack när ja handlade på ett varuhus i San Fransisco. Det är konstigt hur man kan förneka verkligheten, och det var vad jag gjorde. Jag kröp upp för backen till min bil och körde hem innan jag kollapsade. Jag fick min diagnos under julhelgen 2004. Jag visste inte vad MS var, så jag tänkte att så himla farligt kunde det inte vara.

Har du något råd för andra?
Sök experthjälp omedelbart. Var förberedd på en emotionell storm. Det kommer att göra ont, för det gör det. Men kom ihåg att det faktiskt blir bättre, även efter det värsta har hänt. Något jag inte gjorde men borde ha gjort är att ta stöd av andra. Hitta andra i din situation.

Skriver du på något nytt?
Min nästa bok är en Stockholm-Noire, kriminaldrama. Arbetstiteln är Pressure, och också den skrivs på engelska. Det är ett triangeldrama, där en gammal synd, ett stulet barn, leder till ett veckoslut i blod


Chapter 1 – A curious mind

I wanted a life different than others and this I got. I can’t say for sure what I expected, but it surely wasn’t this. What I got was a life hijacked by a disease that turned my body into a stranger. Lost in the fog of my disease — I clung to sanity with my bare fingernails — trying to make sense of a senseless situation. I felt that everything was connected, but now it was all falling apart, imploding into nothingness. Exhausted, with the weight of the world crashing down on me, it was tempting to give in, give up, and drift into darkness. This far out on the edge, the distance between is and was, is razor thin. I died a hundred times that day like I did the day before, and the day before that. But I kept on waking up to the harsh reality at the ICU. In this labyrinth of forever interconnected series of sterile rooms and corridors; life had somehow managed to find me. Life was there, when I opened my eyes, it was there when my loved ones came to visit but most of all; it was there when my daughter was born.

My journey started by exploring the four corners of the earth. But it gradually took a more internal path as I got progressively sicker and sicker. My multiple sclerosis plummeted down a dark spiral as it turned progressive. This set off a series of ever-worsening pneumonia that led to a thirty-day coma, a year of eating through a tube, and using a respirator for three more. A soul-searching investigation led to thorny questions of faith; something larger than me, something to hang my hopes on, something that can explain it all. I have always been interested in Eastern religions but delayed practicing to another day. Now that other day had come and found me, and I found myself wanting. The road I chose was Buddhism, and for all intents and purposes, I am a Buddhist in training. But sometimes I feel as enlightened as an opaque jar that has been wrapped in duct tape, stuffed in a burlap bag, and pitched into a murky lake. Still, this does not stop me from trying to do better. My mind is constantly curious, crowded, and busy, which is not particularly good for meditation. But in keeping with teachings, I am trying to lead with a friendly heart and an open mind. Being open and vulnerable in the moment and in the worst of them has sometimes been painful but often, more often than not; liberating.

I have been living with my disease for a long time and I would like to share my experience with you. This book is an attempt to string together various notes and memories from the path I have traveled. It will take you deep into my mind, my memories, and my nightmares. From drowning in the pool in the lake to looking for God in a snowstorm, to wearing clothes made from the human genome. Writing this book has been a two-year-long painful psychoanalysis session. I am constantly rearranging my emotional, spiritual, and intellectual furniture in order to better understand my journey.


Groundbreaking book deep dives into pain and struggle in the vivid, technicolor mind of a critically ill Multiple Sclerosis patient.
Stockholm, Sweden, May 1, 2021

The author leads the reader on his decade and a half long M.S. journey with a sense of warmth and humor. The collapse at the San Francisco Macy’s came out of the blue and led to the first of many, too many visits to the ICU and finally the diagnosis; Multiple Sclerosis. At first, he tried to deny it, but the disease altered his life and set off a tsunami inside. Soon his lungs were being crushed and squeezed in an ever-tightening vice, leading to twenty pneumonias, three years with a respirator, a year without eating and a thirty-day coma.

As his condition deteriorated life still went on, with a marriage, transatlantic move, and the birth of his daughter. In the midst of this chaos, he had to re-arrange his emotional, intellectual and spiritual furniture.

The MS Diaries is a memoir that seeks to impart the journey inside one man’s mind struggling with a severe chronic illness through uncensored personal anecdotes.

It is sad, funny, informative, and most of all, a beautiful example of a deeply human experience. Although all of our circumstances are different, the author writes in a way that invites the reader to join what is, after all, the shared human experience of life unexpected.
– Review by LLV

The MS Diaries is available on Audible, Kindle and in Paperback format.

Purchase link: 

Jakob Vendle (1968-) was born in London, England, to Swedish parents and grew up in Stockholm, Sweden. He moved to America in 1991 for college and worked there with content creation for several high-tech agencies in Silicon Valley, USA. His life changed in 2004 when he contracted Multiple Sclerosis. He moved back to Stockholm in 2009 with his wife, where he still lives with their daughter.


Book Cover

Grafisk design: Maureen Ljungberg

Author's Image

Foto av: Mathias Cederholm